Good Stewards
Since we cannot change reality, let us change the eyes which see reality.
- Nikos Kazantzakis
We have a magnificent cedar tree in our front yard. It is approximately 40 feet high and 20 feet in diameter. It is the home to birds, squirrels, and other critters, plus the deer and rabbits love its shelter. I would enjoy hearing its story about the sunny days, rain showers, blizzards, droughts, and storms it has enjoyed and endured. I love gazing at this tree as I settle in for my morning meditations.
We have another cedar tree in our backyard. It is not quite as magnificent and slightly annoys me. It is nestled in with a row of hedges. The previous owner saw fit to let it grow, and in the sixteen years we have lived here have continued to allow it to mature. Its top gets cropped by the utility company, so it will not interfere with their lines. Charlie enjoys laying under this shelter. It is a cool place for him to watch me putter in the garden beds and yard.
But it does not fit where it is, and I have threatened to cut it down the past few years. Last month, as I trimmed the hedges around this tree, I set my resolve to take it out. As I contemplated which branches to start with, I noticed a nest. I am not sure who lives in this tree, but it stopped me from planning its destruction. I will not, in good conscience, leave a critter homeless. Okay then, the tree will come out this fall.
But maybe it won't. I have softened on this resolve and now see the tree differently. While not as magnificent as the cedar in the front, it is no less critical, useful, or beautiful. It offers shelter and a playground for a variety of creatures. It is healthy, and the needles provide ground cover and mulch. I have not appreciated this tree as much because it does not fit into my plan of the perfect back yard. But neither do the voles, aphids, or other pests that visit.
It has been a constant battle to create the perfect yard. The dogs chase the cats through the flowers. Dandelions grow in abundance (despite efforts to stop them). The peonies came up too early this year and were damaged by the hard freeze and wet snows in April. Raspberries are growing where they should not be. And so, the stressful merry-go-round spins.
But what if I shift my focus just a bit and see things as perfect in their natural state? What if I stopped fighting the natural progression and followed the lead of nature? What if I stopped measuring my worth by how “perfect” or beautiful my backyard looks? After all, beauty and perfection are in the eye of the beholder.
Charlie has no control and no say in the way the yard is designed. He has his favorite shrubs that will delightfully scratch his back as well as provide a shady bed for a nap. And if those bushes were to disappear, Charlie would search for something different but no less satisfying. Thus, following the lead of nature.
I still want a beautiful yard, but it may look different than my vision. Instead of "tsking" at the voles, I will talk to them as I bait their holes and politely ask them to move along. I may even thank them for ridding me of a plant I did not know needed to be gone (this type of gratitude will be more challenging). The aphids invite ladybugs, which are delightful to watch. The raspberry bed can be expanded (you can never have too many raspberries). The patch where the grass never grows, but weeds love will be converted to another perennial flower bed (oh darn, more flowers). And the tree will stay. Of course, Charlie will help in his usual way by trying to sit on my lap as I weed, dig, and plant.
As I stop fighting and learn to go with the flow with what the yard offers, I find my experience more peaceful and relaxing. In Anam Cara -The Book of Celtic Wisdom, John O'Donohue wrote,
"The way you look at things is the most powerful force in shaping your life. In a vital sense, perception is reality.
For the most part, we construct our world so naturally that we are unaware that we are doing this every moment. It seems that the same rhythm of construction works inwardly, too. Our intentionality constructs the landscapes of our inner world."
We see what we believe.
Our thoughts create our reality about our outer and inner world. When we change our focus and look at something a bit differently, an entirely new and beautiful realm can open up.
© 2013-2020 Kelly Marker, Charlie’s Wisdom All Rights Reserved
The information and material on this blog are based on my personal opinions and experiences. It is not intended as professional mental health advice. The ideas and strategies should never be used without first assessing your mental health situation, or without consulting a mental health professional. My thoughts and opinions will continue to evolve and change as I continue to grow and learn.
