Ebb and Flow
"The notes I handle no better than many pianists. But the pauses between the notes
– ah, that is where the art resides." Arthur Schnable
The Oxford dictionary defines ebb and flow as "a recurrent or rhythmical pattern of coming and going or decline and regrowth." The definition in the Merriam-Webster dictionary is "something that changes in a regular and repeated way."
I love being in the flow and feeling the incredible abundance of creativity, ease, and magic it offers. Like a river, it is a constant progression forward, changing directions, descending underground, plunging from cliffs, moving rapidly or lazily, dropping out of sight, and appearing suddenly. Connection with this current offers a fullness to life that expands the heart, inviting trust, peace, confidence, and contentment.
Row, row, row your boat
gently down the stream
merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
life is but a dream.
We start our journey with a set of oars to help row around obstacles or steady us through rough water. Life is certainly not always easy, kind, tender, or mild, and we may lose one or both oars making us hanging on for dear life as we careen down the raging river. So much for gently down the stream.
Perhaps gently refers to the way you handle yourself, the boat, and the circumstances. Are you fighting the stream by attempting to control aspects of the situation that are not yours to manage? Or are you working with the flow, allowing it to carry you through life, accepting the ups and downs? How are you keeping your boat steady in the roughest of water? Are you gentle with yourself for your mistakes, trials and tribulations, losses, and crises? If you are tossed out of the boat, what will you use as a life jacket to help keep your head above water? Do you need an ebb to catch your breath, reassess, or do some inner work before heading back into the primary waterway?
A balanced life would suggest that ebb is a part of the flow. A lessening or reduction in energy to rest, check your "map," and choose how and when you will re-enter the flow is vital to allow time to reflect, assimilate, or plan. Plus, taking time to celebrate and bask in any accomplishments you have had in either ebb or flow. Reveling in your success is essential before moving forward.
Occasionally, an unexpected ebb may feel as though you are lost, or your boat is stuck in a swampy marsh with alligators and water snakes. This energy can be slow, heavy, and uncomfortable, creating dark, lonely places with no distinctive way back to the active flow. Inner voices of frustration, impatience, and fear flood the psyche threatening to allow the evil gremlin thoughts free reign. Dig deep, call on others, and be gentle to yourself as you seek the faith, energy, and resolve needed to enter the flow again when you are ready.
Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.
After Charlie died, I suddenly found myself in an ebb that felt like the doldrums. A boat bobbing on the calm sea of existence, seemingly stationary as sails hung lifelessly on the masts. It seemed strange that I mourned and grieved more for Charlie than any human I have lost to date. A testament to our connection and his unconditional love.
Quiet inner reflection and contemplation became my life jacket as I put one foot in front of the other to continue life. What once brought comfort and joy no longer held my interest. I found the necessary energy to continue working and helping others. Beyond that, the most comfortable place to go was within - something I learned to do as a very young child.
The magic and comfort of writing eluded me, and it has taken time for a whisper of inspiration to emerge. The flow of words was missing and what I created was like dry toast - lifeless, dreary, and uninteresting. There was an occasional spark of inspiration, but it dulled quickly with the cloak of grief.
These periods in our life are rarely comfortable. What I believe is, if we stayed in gentle waters our entire life, we would never grow. Swamps and white-water rapids create opportunities to do something different and expand our box.
To live differently. To grow in a way that we never thought we would have to grow. And that is not good or bad. The challenge is adjusting to a new direction on the river than we had planned in our minds. Charlie's death was unexpected and did not fit the script I had for us. He taught me a great deal about life, joy, love, freedom, and fun - and I dearly miss him. But the script has changed, and I am slowly adjusting.
I have taken this opportunity to clean out my boat and decide what will and will not aid me as I continue on. Letting go of old, worn-out thoughts that no longer serve me feels good. Re-examining my map has refreshed my outlook on life.
The doldrums are ending, and the flow has returned. Creating a different way to live life is my new pursuit - relaxing, beautiful, and fun. Like the song suggests:
merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is but a dream.
© 2013-2021 Kelly Marker, Charlie’s Wisdom All Rights Reserved
The information and material on this blog are based on my personal opinions and experiences. It is not intended as professional mental health advice. The ideas and strategies should never be used without first assessing your mental health situation, or without consulting a mental health professional. My thoughts and opinions will continue to evolve and change as I continue to grow and learn.
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