Fulcrum of Life - October 17, 2019
Recently, while on a much-needed hike, I noticed that my brain was feeling a bit foggy. Focused only on the trail in front of me, I was not taking in the soul-nourishing beauty of the day. Whereas hiking can be strenuous, I usually do not deem it hard. But this day felt tedious. One foot in front of the other while my backpack felt like a cement weight.
Because this is atypical, it dawned on me that this was the weight of cumulative stress, tension, and anxiety from the past few months. As I began to brace for the "what next" in life, survival seemed to dictate that I focus on the path in front of me and not take time to look around.
I had embraced the feelings of carefree and joy earlier in the summer. I laughed easily, let go of drama or other issues, and had a sense of peace. The tonic had been riding my motorcycle for seven glorious days, traveling 1800 miles to the Women's Freedom Ride and Rally. I love traveling, and road trips on my bike are the best! Whatever conditions are encountered, there is always a sense of freedom and exhilaration from the ride. My soul rejoices as the stress and tension melts away along the highway. And this long ride provided an opportunity to transform mental cobwebs and demons to love and light.
It intrigues me how I went from carefree to tense in a few short weeks. It certainly was not a conscious decision. Perhaps I abandoned my awareness and allowed myself to get hijacked. Or maybe it's the Yin and Yang of life. One experience to balance another. The carefree, joyful state would be preferred by most while ignoring or numbing out the emotional pain. But human beings are meant to experience a full range of emotions. It is difficult to have gratitude for the light if one does not experience the shadow or dark.
Is there a fulcrum point here? A way to balance the emotional experience?
Perhaps the fulcrum point is not about staying neutral but more of a beacon to find our way back to balance when we have tipped too far into the light or shadow.
The Hulk - Universal Studios, Florida
Can one have fun balancing on that teeter-totter - the back and forth rocking of emotions? Maybe with gentle rocking, but sometimes it doesn't always work like that. Occasionally, it feels like we are on a never-ending Six-Flags rollercoaster that sucks your breath away as it careens forward to steep climbs, dives, loops, spins, and spirals.
Its easy to get stuck on the shadow side (shadow looks different for everyone - addiction, depression, anxiety, extended grief, high stress, anger, misery). How frequently are we bombarded with information telling us the world we live in is a dangerous place? That people are not worthy of trust? Who out there is telling us to look for the good in the world? When was the last time you noticed the beauty around you, the goodness of people, the mystery and miracles that occur every day?
I began my journey back to peace with the realization that I was too focused on the personal demands and what was going wrong.
Step One – gratitude for all that is right in the world (and there is a lot)
Step two - get out of my thinking mind and tap into my heart/soul's consciousness. A quieter place to notice my thoughts, see a different perspective, and relax. Sitting quietly, watching sunsets, noticing amazing landscapes, and playing in the garden help me get to that space.
Step three – remember that everything flows, and that balance is the ebb and flow of life. Stagnation is a human construct to attempt to keep the status quo. It is better to let go of what was to allow room for what is.
This is the fulcrum for me. A place of perfect balance.
One can tip too far into the light, as well. Too naïve, too carefree. Joy and happiness are like all emotions and meant to ebb and flow. We live in a beautiful world that has some dangers. Most people have a good heart. Everything has balance – day and night, good and bad, full and empty.
And balance is what I am experiencing today. Most of the spinning plates have been successfully put away with only a few breaking (a sure sign that I had too many going at once – one of these days I will learn to ask for help – another strategy to remain in balance). Now it's back to neutral, rest, and relaxation to recharge for the next adventure.
